1. |
In Defence of Pain
04:02
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Love is a bitch she said to me
You die a little bit inside every time it calls your name
All for a bit of pleasure that fades away
Well, I reply, so does everything
You can die inside a million times
But if you're still alive, what does that really mean?
Maybe it's a sign that everything you die inside for
Might just mean something
So now I'll say
Like a razor blade in my arm
Take my hand, dive inside of the sun
'Cause you know my dear, we won't be here for long
So let's burn together before we're gone
I don't agree, she said to me
Your argument is based on a flawed idea
That joy must come with its evil twin
Well I've been happy and loveless dear
Sure, and you can take all the drugs in the world
To try and make your emotions go away
But in the end you're just freezing out the life you wanna live
Because you're too afraid to face the pain
Life's a razor blade in the skin
Tearing you up, making you scream
But the open door it lets in so much besides
So let's bleed together, before we die
So like a razor blade in our arms
Let's fly together into the sun
The pain is worth it, I will hear you say
When we're old and happy, at the end of the day
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2. |
The Middle East
02:17
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Anguish filling the airwaves
Rubble filling the bathtub
Tunnels that leas to nowhere
And the shrieks of your maker in the sky
This feeling's not dissimilar from the one
You felt when they came for you last night
Confessions in the mirror of a black stained unity
Humanity connected in the terror of foreign
Eyes that tell the story
Mouth that veils the guilty
Thoughts of cycles, thoughts of spirals
With yourself at the centre of the lie
Religion and your texts become a portal for your politics
That say that this one's black, and this one's white
Thinking to the lowest common element that we share
The simplicity of our eyes
This is the theme our brave new world is built on
Guilty and burdened we crawl through the glass of it
Seeing an image hopeless and engulfing
Pain in its static, and an ending inscribed
Where we've come to, is it where we've been?
Progress leading to nothing
With our hope ever married to our sin
Finding our complicity in imagining hostility in the eyes of others
You know I am full to the brim of this simplicity
But I know that I am fighting something
No more in you
Than in me
Just keep waiting
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Because it might get better
It might get better, if you just keep waiting
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3. |
Ambition
04:04
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Like the Senator walking down the halls of power.\
Like the General in a office waiting for his men to die.\
Like the Bureaucrat who would let a few number games slide. \
We all care too much about our name.\
\
Like the Politician who would withhold their true convictions,\
Who would hide the truth for a few more years on the throne,\
Telling themselves, it'll do more good in the long run, \
Without me, me, me, progress would, progress would die. \
\
So many immoral acts\
I need this office, if I didn't then I wouldn't have the power to do\
So many moral acts\
(that never happen)\
\
So many empty words\
I need this money, if I didn't then I wouldn't have the power to say\
So many important words\
(they're never spoken)\
\
The idea of success needs to change\
Money and fame? What about living well, for fucks sake?\
The one thing we don't value ('My name is my name')\
The one thing we don't value. \
\
Want your name to ring out? Be remembered as honest,\
Be remembered as courteous, loyal, and wise,\
Be a rock in the storm of ambition,\
As all those around you obsess with their rise. \
\
Is a beautiful painting seen by only a few more valuable than some shit seen by billions? \
Fool yourself, you you you you you you. \
When you die, when you die, when you die, when you die,\
When you die, when you die, when you die, when you die,\
You're name will be: 'wasted, a traitor, defeated by pride'. \
\
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go.\
\
My name is my name is my name is my name. \
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4. |
Drowning
05:12
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As your lungs fill up
You will see yourself falling in love
But it won't be real
No it won’t be real
Sinking and exhausted in an ocean that has tossed you
Someone will put you on dry land
But it won't be real
No it won’t real
You've got to save your breath
Halfway down words will meet your ear
That you always wanted to hear
But it won't be real
No
Time, time, time
Will seem less
Hollow and pointless, repetitive and jointless
But it won't be real
No
You’ve got to save your breath
No no no
Silence and terror won't be my bedfellows
I must swim on
No no no
I won’t sink down to the bottom,
There's a story out there for me and... who?
Well, in either case, just a story
No, it won't be real
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5. |
Exes
03:10
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I've tried to keep my head down\
I've tried to keep my focus but\
The bitterness is always waiting around \
The corner\
\
And sure, part's karma coming round, \
It was my fault as much as the others, \
But it still makes me feel better to frown \
And say 'Fuck her', she can still\
\
Take a little piece of my soul and crush,\
Take a little piece of my smile and drag it down, \
Still take a little piece of my youth, it dies\
And it all just feeds the fire.\
I can see another time when I curse her name\
See another time I feel irate and enraged,\
See another time when my smile's erased,\
But at least I'll feel inspired \
\
To write another god-damn song.\
\
I shouldn't be this vindictive,\
I mean in truth, we tried our best\
We were doing all that we could\
It just wasn't very goodb\
\
But I remember all the shit\
All the lines and all of the games\
And that's the first line of the first page\
Oh yeah you know she can still \
\
We all fuck each other up so hard\
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6. |
Valhalla
02:51
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My chest is pretty tight\
And the sky is clearly melting\
My hands are fucking huge \
My shoes don't fit\
But then neither does my skin\
My tongue feels huge in my mouth\
Like the universe\
\
Seems this tumbled mind of yours is way more massive than you thought\
Your cracking bending body image has you somewhat overwrought\
Brain asks questions, brain gives answers, all seems clear yet also full of shit!\
\
The universe is a pencil\
And I am the lead\
And all my lovers are the erasers\
The colour yellow\
Is the key to understanding\
How could I be so blind!\
Feel God's kiss\
\
Seems this maze of thinking is more treacherous than you believed\
Answers seem so plentiful yet fleeting and you feel deceived\
Puzzles words and faces eat away at you until you come to see!\
\
That the game is \
Infinite\
And when you do\
It will be over\
Hahahaha!\
\
And if I should die \
Or lose myself in flight\
Well I will be just fine\
I'll be in Valhalla, bitch\
Whoa, in Valhalla bitch \
Toasting to the Gods\
\
Die in psychedelic battle\
What better way\
To kiss the earth goodbye\
And be in Valhalla, bitch?\
Whoa, tripping balls with Thor and all the other kids\
So let's soar and fly and fight above the mist\
In Valhalla\
Valhalla\
For all of time\
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7. |
Happiness
04:12
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Kid don't worry so much of the time.\
The future and ambition will not coincide. \
Platitudes of success seducing the wise.\
They think: at any cost necessary.\
At any cost necessary, including your mind. \
\
Kid don't worry so much of the time. \
Just general virtue will do you better in this life.\
Avoiding the terror, and the sinking of the mind,\
Won't be found in proud anxiety.\
Won't be found in proud anxiety of what will be. \
\
Choose to be happy\
Just choose to be happy\
\
Just think about:\
All those sad fucking moonlit nights\
And the tragic fleeting nature of all those beautiful sights\
Stop thinking that, I'll be fine when everything is just right\
Because life is shit, it will always be shit, so learn to see the beauty in it\
Or the loss of a brilliant friend\
Or the trip worth taking that just had to end\
Stop thinking that I'll be fine when every problem is mended\
Because life is shit it will always be shit\
So choose to see the bright side in it\
\
Kid don't worry so much of the time.\
Look to other people, and with their strength you should be fine, \
That one thing you need and it's your bottom line.\
Seek strength in the ordinary.\
Seek strength in the ordinary, all of the time.\
\
Kid don't worry, none of it's a test\
Money comes and goes, just like love and all the rest\
You'll never be King and you'll never be the best\
But you're already divine\
\
Choose to be happy
Choose to see the beauty
Of the ordinary
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8. |
Letters
05:53
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Adrift, on changing tides, a year gone by\
Having someone to love kept me alive\
Alone, amongst that kind, sick, broken and tried\
My soul was dark and in need I asked and you gave\
Moving from place to place\
A train, a bus, and a brand new face \
I tried to forget, but you just wouldn't quit\
\
Why are the people who say yes\
Never the ones who make you feel best? \
They're a trophy, or a mistake\
They're a settle, or dishonest and fake. \
Maybe love was just cursed from the start? \
A maze with no exit, deceiver of hearts?\
\
Don't you worry,\
That I don't believe;\
However it ended,\
Our love was good to me.\
It's horrid, right now\
In that I won't pretend,\
But you'll glow, and you'll shine Once I'm on the mend.\
\
That night, was dark indeed seemed endless to me.\
Please remember the power of words to deceive\
Not in how they're written but how they're read\
It was all in my mind, all in my head, so\
Take care with a heart, when it's lost in that dark\
Reading them now, it's oh so clear\
But during the storm I just wanted to hear\
That you were mine, \
A sickness and madness that none can defy\
Love\
\
But Why do we feel such yearning for things we can't have? \
Out nature torments us and tears us in half\
The fire of youth burns at us all;\
When will it end, when will the dice fall?\
Maybe love was just cursed from the start? \
A maze with no exit, deceiver of hearts?\
\
Don't you worry,\
This I don't believe;\
Requited or not,\
Our love was good to me.\
It\'s horrid, right now\
In that I won't pretend,\
But you'll glow, and you'll shine once I'm on the mend\
Yeah you'll glow in my mind until the very end\
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9. |
What the Fuck is Love?
02:26
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Do you feel like:\
\
All the relationships you've been in have been shit\
Cupid took one look at you and said, 'Nah, you're not it', \
You feel you've not been blessed by the dude above, \
You're like, 'Tell me, what the fuck is love?'\
\
You've been single for years,\
You're young, you're supposed in sex up to your ears,\
The world won't give, though you pull and tug,\
You're like, 'Tell me what the fuck is love?'\
\
Tell me what you mean when you say that word?\
Cause To me it all seems frightfully absurd.\
I've just been lied to, manipulated, let down and betrayed,\
So what the fuck is love anyway?\
\
Do you feel like,\
\
The fact they all went wrong is all your fault?\
Your mood swings and your ego must have drove them to the rocks.\
You'll never be happy, you just ain't no dove,\
You'll never know, what the fuck is love?\
\
You've been on a few dates in-between,\
but they were so awful, you're like God's just being mean\
You're thrown these crumbs but they taste like crap,\
you're like 'Is love just a fucking trap?'\
\
So tell me what you mean when you say it's going well,\
For me my heart's desires make my life a living hell,\
I've just been lied to, manipulated, let down and betrayed,\
So what the fuck's this love thing anyway?\
\
So tell me what you mean when you say that word?\
Cause To me it all seems horrifically absurd.\
I've just been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the day
When you tell me
What the fuck is love anyway?
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10. |
Famous Last Words
02:55
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It's hard to let go of the hope we had
Cause it's hope that kept me alive
It's hard to let go of your face, your touch, your voice
And that look in your eyes
And sure, in that ocean of worlds we'll find
A home for both of our hearts
But I wanted that world, that journey hand in hand
Into the dark
And it's hard to describe what it felt to be lost like I was
Blinded by fear on all sides.
But when I look back on the black clouds of those years, you know
You will shine through in my memory, as the brightest star in the sky
It's hard to believe that we were just part of that time
Or a crutch that I needed
It's hard to believe that the children, the places, the growing old
Were just pills for the madness
And I know why you want to say sorry
And want to reassure me
But it's not pain, it's not fear, it's just tragedy
That that future died in our arms
And it's hard to describe the hatred I felt for myself
Clouded up in anger
But when I look back on the black clouds of those years, you know...
You will shine through in my memory, as the brightest star in the sky
And the hope and the time you gave to me
Kept me seeing the beauty in life
And if I go down in history, and they ask me, ‘How did you get here?’
I'll say: ‘When I was trapped in a prison of troubles
One gorgeous soul lit up the room’
So when I look back on the black clouds of those years, you know
You will shine through in my memory
As the brightest star in the sky.
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11. |
The End
07:51
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Death, to be Reborn
Be Young no more
I've burned through all my years
Ambitions, loves and fears
To breathe deeply
Seek Patiently
I Want this and nothing more
Shelter from the storm
Pain I've known
When Adrift and blown
Cold, alone
And heart like stone
You will remember it all
The end has come
My loves all ended
My fears transcended
I stand alight
Forged in strife
Lessons learned
The fire burned them
In my skin
Now it burns within
Like a torch
In the void
Reinventing
The old, destroyed
You will remember it all
The end has come
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Rob Lock Bristol, UK
Rob Lock is a solo musical artist and music therapist in training. He uses several arrangements including solo piano, rock
and metal setups, and orchestra. He likes to explore psychological subject matter, at times dark and at times uplifting.
He is currently focusing on solo piano material.
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